Lizzie and Pryce answer questions and give advice about aging concerns from a two generational perspective. A mother and daughter team, Lizzie is a retired R.N. and health educator and Pryce, her daughter, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in the care of elders and people with chronic illness.

Dear Mom & Me:

I am a recently divorced 85-year-old woman. I guess I stayed until the children were grown up.

Why did I wait so lon? I had my reasons but now I am free even if it is only for a couple of years. These will be happy years knowing I will not be buried next to him in his family plot. I should have done it years ago because I enjoy my freedom and it is wonderful.

My advice to younger women is to get out. If you know you have made a mistake and you have done your best and you want to leave - leave.

Many people were able to make better choices or they were just plain lucky. In my case I made a poor choice. I did not realize at the time the long-term consequences of a 10-minute ceremony.

What do you think about today’s statistics?

Too Late Smart

Dear Too Late:

“I don’t love you, I have never loved you” is not an uncommon statement from someone married for 50 years.

Our increased longevity has changed the way people think, their hopes and their dreams. If a person wants out of a marriage and there are sufficient accumulated financial resources and pension division to support both parties - why stay married?

Adult children are frequently confused and want to know where their loyalties lie and they frequently ask, “Why now?”

Some women will do anything to get out but it is a move that has to be considered carefully with the assistance of legal, financial and emotional specialists.

Dear Too Late:

I am glad to hear that you are enjoying your new-found happiness. I often talk with older women who through divorce or death are alone and loving it. There are lonely times, but those times pass.

Many women say that if given the opportunity, they would not get involved with another man. They are simply happy to tend to themselves and enjoy their friends and family.

Divorce at any age is an important life change. Women of younger generations than you have much more support and resources to be independent of a marriage. Nevertheless, ending a marriage should be an informed choice when all other choices have been explored.

Enjoy your new life. Do not look back and grumble that you should have divorced earlier. You cannot change that. Today is a new day and you have new experiences ahead.

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